There are few things more elusive in the craft of writing than the notion of “Voice”. But what many new writers fail to grasp is that “Voice” is far more than just what a character says. It’s about how they say it and how they feel about the world around them.
In other words, it’s at least partially about their attitude.
You have an attitude. You may not realize it, but you have one. I’m sure you’ve heard the words “don’t give me that attitude!” on more than one occasion. I’m willing to bet you’ve answered a question with a smile on your face, all the while concealing the seething rage beneath your calm exterior.
Am I right? Of course I am! I’m human! Attitude is a major part of what defines our very existence.
So just what is this elusive attitude, and how do we go about achieving it in fiction?
The Filter Through Which We Perceive
How Your Characters Feel About Their Perceptions
Mujahid needed power to cast a spell, but there was none around. The crypt held power, but he was too far away.
In this passage, Mujahid is just dutifully reporting the facts to the reader. And that’s ok…for a 1st draft. 1st drafts are always pure crap, but that’s because we’re just getting the story down. In essence, we’re telling the story to ourselves just to get it straight! But clearly this won’t do. It’s too sterile. It’s lacking something.
Attitude. It’s lacking attitude. When we revisit this passage in the 2nd (or 20th) draft, we’ll know more about our world. We’ll know more about Mujahid. He’ll be more real to us as the writer, so we’ll know better how he feels and thinks about his surroundings. In short, we’ll know his attitude. So we take that attitude and inject it into the prose.
But Mukhtaar Lord or not, he needed power to cast like any other priest, and there wasn’t a drop of necropotency anywhere. If he could get closer to the crypt, he’d have all the energy he needed. But he didn’t think the guards would take him on an excursion any time soon.
Sure, I increased the word count of this paragraph quite a bit. But sometimes that’s ok. This is a 2nd (or 20th) draft, so I’m going to be cutting entire sections and combining characters in other locations anyway.
The takeaway from this is that the first version was sterile. It lacked life. We were telling a story. In the second version, we were living a story! The second version was filled with attitude, and that attitude brought tension with it. You can feel Mujahid’s frustration, and you’re wondering, right along side him, how he’s going to get out of trouble.
In other words, you’ve created a fictive dream in the reader’s mind. You’ve struck dramatic gold.
Thomry had been fidgeting with his sleeves, but he looked up and spread his arms when Mujahid accused him.
Yep. Good, dutiful Mujahid. Reporting the facts as he did all throughout the first draft. That’s exactly what Thomry did. Mujahid accused him of something, and Thomry stopped messing with his clothing.
As I learned more about Mujahid, however, it occurred to me that he wouldn’t leave it at that. Thomry’s action would hold more significance because of how Mujahid feels about foppish government bureaucrats. So I rewrote it.
Thomry looked up from his preening and spread his arms.
Thomry, the fop, wouldn’t be “fidgeting with his clothes” in Mujahid’s eyes. He’d be “preening” himself. In this instance, I not only injected a part of Mujahid into the description, but I also managed to shrink word count as a bonus.
I know. There’s a lot of distance between draft 1 and draft 20 that I’ve conveniently skipped over (all that “getting to know them” crap). Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. Take a look at this article I wrote about the technique I use to learn more about a character. I think you’ll find it both fun and educational!
If you remember nothing else from this article, remember this: until you see your characters as living, breathing people, your reader doesn’t stand a chance at connecting with them.
Give them attitude. People connect with attitude. And why wouldn’t they? After all, we all have them.
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